Connecting it all

I get so excited I could burst.  I get so afraid I could cry.  I get so angry I could…  It’s not necessary to be all or nothing.  Balance is the key.  Each day comes with a bit of each type of emotion.  You might say these are mood swings, but they’re not, really.  I try to look at it as experiencing the spectrum of my emotions.  

When it’s anger that I encounter, I try to determine why I feel that way.  What brings on the feeling?  Is this something that I can control?  Ultimately, no.  Although, yes, I should be able to.  I choose to feel the way I feel. When it’s anger, I always regret feeling that way.  I can’t come to terms with the anger. I don’t want to feel the anger.  I automatically want to recant anything that has resulted from that anger.  And when I say that, I mean in that same second.  

The feeling of happiness, I want to last.  I know it won’t.  That’s unrealistic.  And that’s ok. All my feelings are part of me.  And I have so much to be thankful for.  

Each day brings it’s own joys and challenges.  Life is a joy.  

Anger hurts

Anger hurts. It hurts like hell. It sends spikes into my heart. I feel it.

Instantly, as I’m still in the fit of anger, I despise it. The emotions are practically simultaneous. I do not get any pleasure out of my anger - almost wish I could. But, it’s something that is habitual, and I feel like it takes over me in certain situations. Logically, I know that because it is a habit, all I have to do is break it and keep getting in the habit of breaking it.
When I enter situations that may bring up the ugly, I try to prepare myself, brace myself for the usual reaction.

Time and perseverance, compassion and understanding will win over this anger in me. I know it will. And the reason I know it, is that I’m tired of it. I’m stronger than it.

I will no longer be hurt. My body is getting stronger through yoga, and I am able to transfer that strength into my actions; into my being; into my awareness; into my discipline to do what’s right for me.

Everybody wins.

Good friends are hard to find. When you find them, never let them go.

…enjoy them, and allow them to enjoy you.

Message to younger self (nee me now)

I just contributed to TED convos about what I would say to my younger self, knowing what I know now (which, by the way, is still an ongoing process) :

“Be more serious in figuring out your career path. Take the harder path. Be confident in your self, your opinions and your abilities. Know that you are a beautiful person.”

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Changing the ‘bad’ into ‘good’

It’s not supposed to rain today, according to the forecast, but I can feel that it might. That’s what today feels like for me.
We’ve got these huge life changing plans but somehow they’re not seeming real to me right now. Well, I know why - there was a piece of info given to us yesterday that may put a huge wrench in our plans. And then when one ‘off’ thing happens it seems like everything else falls in line into that ‘off’ category. Today is feeling very strange to me.
So here’s the thing. I’m determined to convert all this recent bad news into positive outcomes. Today may rain, but so what? We may have to live within different walls, but so what? It’s the ego that gets bruised when things don’t go according to plan. Really, it’s all about the big picture. And for me, that is a beautiful sight to behold - the now, and the future.

Don’t be afraid to shine

Our biggest fear is succeeding beyond measure.  But the easiest way to conquer that is just to be.  Just be what you want to be; do what you want to do.  Don’t do it with lofty expectations attached - the idea that you have to do what you want to do in the ‘best’ possible way - that’s where the fear of failing at it comes in.  If you just be and do your best, then that’s when you’ll shine your brightest.  You’ll look back at your day, your accomplishments, and you’ll say - ‘I did it, I loved doing it, and I feel like I can do it again’. Be gentle with yourself.